Congo, Coral, and Creeps
Planet healing in one place, unraveling everywhere else.
Welcome back on this July 3rd, 2025! I’m here again, dragging my sleep-deprived body to the keyboard to bring you some good news to kick things off, followed by some world updates, and then we’ll end it with some random shit I found on the internet.
Same format, different day. Welcome back!
Before we jump into the mess of humanity, let me start this one the way I usually end it: thank you. Seriously. Thank you to every one of you who reads, comments, likes, shares, or even just scrolls past with a grunt of semi-approval. I do the writing part, sure, but you make this whole circus worthwhile.
Okay, now that I’ve groveled appropriately at your feet, let’s wade into the chaos. Let’s start with the Gulf.
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Thank you!
Earlier this week we covered water. Well, now we have another essential element we are going to talk about, this time with a discovery that’s as big as New York’s tallest skyscrapers.
The planet has a little win today. A new massive coral reef has been discovered deep in the ocean, and it’s nearly the height of the Empire State Building. Even cooler? This reef thrives far below the surface, unlike most coral we know, and it's not sun-bleached or dying off. It’s down where the water’s colder and darker, which is weirdly working in its favor.
If you're like me and only vaguely knew coral had something to do with oxygen, here's the basic idea: coral reefs are living ecosystems that support algae, fish, and all kinds of ocean life.
The photosynthetic plankton living in these systems produce oxygen and support oceanic biodiversity, which keeps the whole watery circle of life from imploding.
This particular reef happens to be big, healthy, and untouched by human hands so far. Let’s try not to mess this one up, yeah?
Here’s to hoping!
Now, onto a place where the oxygen is constantly being ripped from the lungs of innocents: the Congo. Dark start, yes. Now you’re prepared though, right?
This part of the world’s been an absolute barrel of flammable pig shit for decades, and 2025 isn’t doing it any favors. Fighting broke out again earlier this year between rival militant groups in the eastern DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo), mainly in North Kivu. I’ll include a fucking map at the end of this section. It will be high quality, skillfully drawn out, and detailed. The violence has displaced tens of thousands of civilians and led to hundreds of deaths already.
Why, Kenyon, you might ask! Well... I will say this: You, Chadwick Wellington, need to shut your ass! The rest of us aren’t fucking brain-dead, and we’ve already pieced it together…
Big corporations… because it’s always big corporations.
Big corporations have historically swooped in to strip the land for rare minerals like cobalt and coltan, which are vital for our phones. Once the large bulk of the resources are gone, they leave without so much as a $20 on the nightstand.
While these big companies are there, they hire private security or back local militias to protect the shit they own, which is logical, but it just makes everything worse. Now you’ve given people hope for a brighter future, armed them, and as soon as the land quits putting out, you bail like two frat boys waking up together after a rough night of “bro time.”
Understandably, the people in the region are pissed, and the ones who are armed start taking what they want, putting groups together that are capable of violence and control on a larger and larger scale.
Local communities are left behind with polluted land, destroyed villages, and those armed groups fighting over the scraps.
On top of the armed conflict, there's been a rise in reports of sexual violence by these armed groups, something that’s sadly all too common in these kinds of power vacuums.
I have no answers or suggestions; just another reminder that when balance is upended, and the elites do whatever they want, it's those of our species who are just trying to live their lives who are left to suffer.
Meanwhile, in Australia, there’s a rodent uprising. I’m not kidding.
An unusually wet season gave way to a full-blown mouse invasion. Farmers across New South Wales and Queensland are watching their crops, homes, and sanity get chewed up by millions of mice. Some farms are reporting losses in the tens of thousands. You might think, just bring in some cats. Believe it or not, they already tried that once. Australia has a major cat problem.
Feral cats wreak havoc on native wildlife, and introducing more would just trade one invasive species for another.
Authorities are discussing extreme measures like re-legalizing certain banned poisons, but so far, no official go-ahead. Still, if your entire harvest gets eaten by assholes with tails, odds are you’re gonna do something drastic whether it’s legal or not.
Honestly, I get it. People will go feral themselves when survival’s on the line.
There’s no easy answer. Traps? Cruel but effective. Poisons? Dangerous for everything else. Cats? Chaos.
There is no clear answer, and I won’t dump my flood of thoughts out here. We’ll just say that, for now, the main takeaway from this is that mice are now assholes helping contribute to global instability, and bringing in massive amounts of cats just makes shit worse.
Last but certainly not least, let’s head to my own home state of Idaho, because of course something deeply disturbing happened here again.
I swear to fuck. Can I find just one good local news story? Damn.
In northern Idaho, near the Coeur d’Alene area (like most people know where that fucking is), someone intentionally started a wildfire and then shot and killed at least two firefighters who showed up to help, with a third still in critical condition.
When police arrived and began surveying the situation, they eventually found the suspect already dead. It appears to be a self-inflicted wound.
There’s no motive yet, no manifesto, no clue if this was politically driven, personal, or just plain unhinged. What we do know is that two firefighters are dead, and this already dangerous fire season just got uglier. An already compromised area is now even more so, with the loss of two brave men.
This story is still developing. I’ll update you as soon as I know more.
Seriously though, damn, Idaho. Can we go a single month without landing in national headlines for something awful?
My heart sincerely goes out to those families, as well as the man still fighting for his life. Fuck these suddenly violent people. I really hope more gets uncovered about this one, because everything about it is just plain strange so far.
Anyway, that’s the roundup for today. Like I said at the top: thank you. I really appreciate you sticking around and reading this madness with me every day. Hopefully, I give you something useful, or at least worth yelling about in a group chat.
Take care of yourselves out there. Stay cool, stay kind, stay weird. I’ll be back tomorrow.
Just one paid upgrade a day keeps the devil mice away, funds emotional coral support, and helps me survive another Idaho headline. You know what to do.
Thank you!
All images in this article were taken, edited, created, or generated by the author unless stated otherwise.
This article contains elements of satire and opinion. All thoughts and opinions expressed are purely speculative.
Yeah, turns out they are massive! This one being exceptionally large!
It was definitely interesting to read about it, I never know how many details I should include. I don't know what interests people, and what's likely to just bore them to tears in regards to science and discoveries. Still getting the hang on that one. Lol
What the hell is happening In Kootenai County? I feel like a lot of bad shit is going on around there….
The news about the newly discovered coral reef is win for our planet. I read that it’s the largest coral reef we’ve discovered and is larger than a blue whale. 🐳 I’ve never seen a coral reef or a blue whale, but I’ll admit that I thought coral reefs would typically be larger than a blue whale. This shows how inaccurate my understanding is regarding coral reefs.
I learned something new today. Thank you!